Powerless
by TheCopyMistress
Summary: Kakashi and Genma accept the things they cannot change until they learn to change the things they cannot accept. A gift for Aliendel through the 2018 Naruto Gift Exchange on Tumblr.


Many thanks to Orhla and mummapaintstheblues for beta-ing, and to Alien and nerazenn for being my hype beasts!

* * *

They had never spoken before the first time Genma found Kakashi curled up under the cold spray of the showers within ANBU headquarters. He had heard about the new recruit about a week ago. A kid, barely 13, because the Yondaime thought it was a good idea to place a child in the toughest division of the militia.

He had half a mind to walk away and leave him to his own devices. He'd either learn to deal with it, quit, or die, and it didn't really matter to Genma which one it was. As he turned, however, the glint of a blade caught his eye. Before he knew what he was doing, he was towering over Kakashi, his hand wrapped around the smaller boy's wrist. The tanto in Kakashi's hand glowed strangely even as Genma's shadow stretched over it, but the light it emitted dulled as Kakashi stared up at him in shock.

"Se-senpai?"

Genma shivered a little under the freezing water, so he straightened up before offering a hand to Kakashi.

"It's just Genma, kiddo. Give me the blade so you can get dried off. Then let's talk."

The boy looked from Genma's face to the blade and back again before sheathing it and placing it in Genma's outstretched palm. The older ANBU waited patiently as Kakashi turned off the water and wrapped a towel around himself before walking to his locker, dressing in a fresh uniform. After he pulled his mask over his face, he took the weapon (the White Fang, Genma belatedly realized) back and strapped it across his back.

With a clap on the shoulder, Genma led him outside. "Come on, I have a couple hours until I have to report to the Big Man, and I'm assuming you just got back from somewhere?" Kakashi didn't meet his eyes, but nodded.

They wandered for a while, taking in the comforting warmth of spring and the peaceful bustle of civilians around them. When they reached the bottom of the cliffs that housed the Great Stone Faces, the pair poured chakra into the soles of their feet, climbing straight up the mountainside. Genma settled onto the top of the Nidaime's faceplate, his feet dangling over the edge. Kakashi chose to hang from the edge by his hands, doing a few pull-ups before sitting beside the senbon user and taking in the entire village.

Genma didn't want to push the kid to talk, but he was a little short on time. It was obvious that Kakashi's team had left him to fend for himself after what seemed like a brutal mission. Even at Genma's own age and experience level, the emotional aftermath of such assignments was never a walk in the park.

"He had a family. Our target." Genma's attention shot to the boy beside him. His voice was weary. He was too young to have those words come out of his mouth. He should be speaking about the dumb things his friends did or what he was learning in the academy. But he spoke of death, and he spoke of it like he was tired of it. He was too young.

"Look, kid—"

"Kakashi. Hatake Kakashi."

Hatake. Understanding dawned on the brown-haired jounin. "Kakashi… If this is confidential, we shouldn't be—"

"It's fine, senpai. It was just A class, a standard assassination." Genma hated being called senpai, and this kid had already done it twice, but he held his tongue. "They watched us kill him. And then we had to kill them too. There was a baby in the other room. I could hear it, but Taichou said to just leave it be."

It took the familiar sting of his fingernails digging into his skin for Genma to realize that his hands had curled into fists. He had no words of comfort, no physical escape to offer him. It wasn't going to get better or easier, and he refused to feed this kid bullshit lies.

"Sometimes it's the job." That' was all he could say. He saw silver hair bob in agreement, but there was nothing else to say. Genma mirrored the motion before rising, twirling his senbon on his tongue, and disappearing.

* * *

The quiet slide of the window was enough to alert Kakashi of an intruder's presence. He shot up, reaching under his pillow for the kunai he slept with.

"Calm down, kid. It's just me."

At the bored drawl of Genma's voice, Kakashi immediately relaxed. He focused a tired eye on his senpai's form still perched on his windowsill. The moonlight caught his ivory armor, highlighting the blood stained across the chest. Tension tightened Kakashi's shoulders as he crossed the room to help the older ANBU. However, upon inspection he realized that Genma had no wounds, which meant that the blood wasn't his own.

"You should go to the hospital, Shiranui. You look like hell."

Genma scoffed. "That's fucking rich coming from you."

Well, it wasn't like he was going to force him to go. Kakashi wasn't a hypocrite, and ANBU especially was known to seek help away from the bleached floors and white walls of a hospital.

Once Kakashi had Genma comfortable on the chair beside his bed, he padded down the hallway to the kitchen. The scrape of the kettle against the electric burner sent an unpleasant chill up his spine. The tea was brewed in a matter of minutes, and he wandered back down the hallway to fight Genma exactly as he left him. Placing the steaming cup on the table, Kakashi moved to crouch in front of him. He tugged off his white arm guards followed by long black gloves, folding them nicely and piling them next to the tea. Next came his white vest and kunai holster, ending with finally sliding the black, heavy-duty sandals off his feet. He handed the tea cup to Genma before going back to lay down on his bed.

Kakashi didn't ask him what happened. They never pushed each other to talk.

The only sounds came from Genma sipping at his tea and the creaking of his apartment's old wood against the wind outside. After he finished, he walked over to Kakashi's bedside. The younger ANBU scooted himself against the wall to make room for his friend on the outside of the bed. They both stared at the ceiling for a while, and Kakashi was about to go back to sleep when Genma finally spoke.

"I couldn't save any of them." And for the next hour, the brown-haired agent recounted, in graphic detail, the deaths of his teammates at enemy hands. Kakashi said nothing. He let him talk until there was nothing left to say. But there was one thing that ate at him.

"Did you complete the mission?"

The question weighed heavy, imposing everything they had both been taught in basic training. It didn't matter who died, so long as the mission was fulfilled.

"Yes."

When Kakashi awoke the next morning, his companion was gone.

* * *

It had been less than 24 hours since the Yondaime had passed. His body, along with his once exuberant wife's, had just gone cold. Their baby was left without a family, and they could only blame themselves.

Genma found him in the basement beating the shit out of a punching bag. Blood ran down his knuckles but he didn't seem to care.

"Hatake."

If Kakashi had heard him, he didn't let on.

"Kakashi." The only sound the filled the air was the smack of his fists against the punching bag. Genma strode up next to him, blocking his next hit. Kakashi stopped, exhaling sharply before turning slowly to face the other jounin.

"What is it, Genma?" The pain in his voice was unmistakable. If he didn't let it out, Genma knew he would shatter.

"Come on, Hatake. Let's spar."

They walked down the hallway to occupy one of the larger training rooms. The walls, floors, and even the ceiling were covered in dark green padding.

"Taijutsu only." Genma warned.

Kakashi made the first move, speeding across the room towards the older man. He thrust his fist towards Genma's stomach, only for the other man to grasp his fist in one hand and flip Kakashi over his shoulder. They spun to face each other, keeping close as they traded blows. They fell into a comfortable rhythm, each too lost in their own thoughts to break it until Genma swept his leg out to knock Kakashi off his feet. He landed solidly on his back. This time Kakashi didn't get up.

Genma stood over him, watching as the young ANBU curled onto his side, sobs wracking his small form.

"Get up, Hatake." Genma nudged him with a foot, but Kakashi simply retreated further into himself. "Dammit, Kakashi, snap out of it!" He grabbed him by the collar, moving to slam him against the wall. "There was nothing you could do!"

"I'm ANBU! I was supposed to be there!" Kakashi screamed at him. Both his eyes were exposed, his headband having fallen off earlier. Tears poured out of the charcoal eye, but the Sharingan… The Sharingan unnerved Genma the most, dry and tearless, yet he could see the grief reflecting in its crimson depths. "Why wouldn't he let me be there?!"

Kakashi thrashed in Genma's grasp, still pinned against the wall, his feet barely touching the ground. The tokujo let him struggle, let him tire himself out before releasing him and setting him back on the ground. However, Kakashi's legs gave way and he slid down the wall, his legs bent in front of him as he sat. Genma moved to sit beside him.

"He made me part of his personal guard. I failed. I'm sorry." Genma pulled the bandana from his head, running his fingers through the maple brown locks.

"Why didn't they let me fight? I could've been useful. I'm not a little kid anymore."

"Kakashi, you just turned 15. Your generation is the future of this village."

"We already fought a fucking war, Genma! We were ten, twelve years old and they were so willing to send us out to die. They didn't give a fuck about the future of the village then!" He scoffed, wiping the tears from his right eye. "Now Minato-sensei and Kushina-neesan are the ones in the ground."

Genma pulled down his long black glove and stared blankly at the seal on his inner forearm, identical to Iwashi's and Raidou's. _The Hokage Guard Platoon._ He was placed in the highest position guarding the most important person the village… And he failed.

"There was nothing anyone could have done… There was a barrier… Some kind of chakra force field… We couldn't get in." Pain shot through his chest as he recalled the Kyuubi's claw running through the couple, the sharp edge protruding from Kushina-sama's stomach.

"He placed me in charge of his wife and his son. I wasn't even there."

"You were off duty."

"It doesn't matter."

"That's bullshit, Kakashi. Stop blaming yourself. No one could have predicted what went down last night."

Genma grabbed the kid by the shoulder and pulled him into a tight embrace. They were in the same position. He had no idea where Raidou and Iwashi ran off to, but right here and right now, Kakashi needed someone. Though he were never admit it out loud, he needed someone too. Being alone wouldn't do either of them any good.

"Come on." He loosened his grip on Kakashi, standing before pulling the other ANBU upright by the arm and tugging him out into the hallway. He didn't stop until they reached one of the break rooms. Shoving Kakashi roughly into one of the beds, he began to strip off his gloves and vest. The boy stared blankly up at him until something clicked in his brain and he began to move away.

"Look, Genma, I'm not really into—"

Genma rolled his eyes as he slid off his sandals. "No, you idiot. It's not like that. We're gonna get some rest. That's it." He knew that many of their colleagues liked to bury their sorrows and find solace in each other, but there was no way he was going to take advantage of a vulnerable child. "Go to sleep, Kakashi. You'll feel at least a little better when you wake up."

Genma took another cot for himself, burrowing under the covers and ignoring the confused look on his subordinate's face. Sleep took its time with him, but it wasn't long before the rustle of blankets was followed by slow, steady breathing, filling in the silence between them.

* * *

There was only one mission that Kakashi and Genma took together.

 **CLASSIFIED**

According to our sources, the Uchiha clan is planning a coup d'etat. It is unknown when such an event will take place, but prevention is key.

However, another issue has been brought to our attention. Shimura Danzo, one of the village elders, has instructed new recruit Uchiha Itachi to alleviate the unrest brewing in the compound. He plans to strike tonight.

Your mission is to capture Uchiha Itachi and prevent his crimes from occurring. We will deal with the Uchiha clan another way. If arrest is deemed impossible, eliminate the target.

From the desk of the Third Hokage,

Sarutobi Hiruzen

"This is some fucking twisted shit. Who would slaughter their own family?" Genma did a flip midair before pushing off the next tree branch. "Man, the Uchiha are fucking wild though. One time, I was at the bar, and one came up to me, so of course I was gonna show her a good time, and—"

"Genma, shut the fuck up, I'm trying to think." Kakashi's head was pounding. His teammate, his subordinate was about to do something unspeakable. He had to stop it. It was the only way.

Itachi was always had a quiet peace about him. That never bothered Kakashi. In their line of work, the less talking the better. However, lately, that peace had transformed into something else, an unrest bubbling beneath the surface and covered by a blanket facade. Just because they wore masks didn't mean that Kakashi couldn't sense the dark cloud that hung over Itachi's head in recent weeks. And now he knew why.

The pair found Itachi in a clearing two clicks from the village. Hidden in the shadows, they watched him whisper to a black-cloaked figure, who disappeared soon after they arrived. When they flash-stepped in front of the Uchiha, it was no surprise to any of them that he had already sensed their presence despite masking their chakra.

"If you're here to talk me out of it, it's not going to work."

"Itachi-kun, you don't have to do this." Kakashi pulled out the oldest line in the book, but no one ever criticized him for not being a wordsmith.

"Forgive me, taichou, but you don't understand the circumstances. Even if I were to reconsider and not go through with my clan's end, Madara-san would push the plan through without me. Either way, they will die."

"I'm sorry," Genma cut in, placing a hand on his hip. " _Who_?"

"I don't know who this person really is," Itachi started, shuffling his feet a little. It was the first time Kakashi had seen him look his age. "But he claims to be Uchiha Madara, the head of my clan and one of the founders of this village…"

"You can't possibly believe that." Genma scoffed, the senbon flicking up and down between his lips as he turned away. Kakashi watched him walk back into the shadows before turning to his subordinate.

"He's right, you know."

"Of course I know that, taichou. Madara-sama would be far older, but… But he understands my family. They're proud people. They don't let anyone in, and they won't admit that they're scared, and they're tired of being mistreated and marginalized by this village. I'm sure you know by now what they're planning. My father is trying his best, but it's not going to be enough. I'm preventing a civil war from breaking out and tearing our home apart. And if I have to be a murderer in order to keep the peace, then so be it. This was an order. And a mission is a mission."

Kakashi sighed, rubbing a hand over his tired face. This wasn't a cold-blooded killer. This was a scared child ordered to do the wrong thing. "You know, you're right. Those who break the rules are trash. But those who abandon their friends are even worse." He looked down at him now. "Your village needs you. Your brother, he needs you. If you do that, both of those precious things will be lost. To you, and to all the good that could be if you just didn't do this."

"They will survive."

"Do you want them to survive? Or do you want them to be the best that they can possibly be? Your impact is not a small one, Itachi-kun."

The rustling of leaves set them both on edge, and they brandished their tanto in the direction of the intrusion. At the sight of Genma with his arms raised in the air, they sheathed their weapons. "Glad you two have had the chance to talk it out a little. Now let us take you in, squirt. We'll send someone after that Madara imposter and roll with the rest of the punches as they come."

Itachi looked from Kakashi to Genma and back again before sighing and holding out his wrists. Genma locked him chakra cuffs before teleporting them all back to the village. They turned him in to T&I and left the rest to Ibiki.

"He'll be fine, Kakashi. He's not unwilling to talk."

Kakashi didn't bother to respond to the point. "Let's grab a drink. I need one."

* * *

"I'm leaving ANBU."

Kakashi looked up from the orange book in his hand to see Genma standing beside him in the standard jounin uniform. It was the first time he'd seen him out of ANBU dress in months. "Any particular reason?"

"I think you know."

He knew. Itachi's situation took a heavy toll on many of their platoon. Kakashi gave an affirmative hum, turning his attention back to his book, but giving Genma space to keep talking. The brown-haired tokujo lowered himself to the ground, laying back and chewing at the metal between his teeth.

"I just…" He struggled to find words. "It's time for me to step out of the shadows. Little Uchiha was put in an impossible position, and I couldn't stand by any longer."

"I understand. It's alright."

"You should consider it too, kiddo."

Kakashi snorted, both at the suggestion and the reminiscent nickname. "Oh yeah? And do what?"

Hey, no one said Genma had all the answers. "I don't know, that's up to you. The possibilities are endless, you know."

This was his entire life. He found comfort in the darkness, the shadows where he operated. The decisions were not his own, since he always seemed to make the wrong ones. He offered Genma a half-hearted shrug, but it was clear that the conversation was over. The older man stood and dusted himself off before tucking his hands in his pockets and clapping Kakashi on the shoulder.

"Thanks for looking out for me all these years, old friend."

"Same to you. I'll see you around, Genma." With a wink and a senbon-split smile, the two parted ways.

No one ever said the path they chose was easy or rewarding. They watched countless comrades take their last breath in the name of the place they called home. However, despite the death and the darkness that shrouded their world, they were endlessly thankful for the light they found in each other.

* * *

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